LAKEWOOD, Wash. – Cat Pashman, er…Pat Cashman entertains Lakewood Rotarians with witty (some by half) anecdotes from and about many of his past gigs….but first:

Rotarians were greeted first and foremost by the always gorgeous Judy Hosea (my sponsor) as she awaited any last minute donations to the Sportsman’s Dinner and Auction (Saturday, April 11). The seldom seen but yet ever active Morris Northcutt was there to assist.

Bob Zawilski collected $397 in Paul Harris donations and Leon “The Enforcer” Titus sold raffle tickets and acted as our Sergeant-at-Arms.

President Dave rang the bell and got the meeting off to a start in his usual fashion – delivering a Presidential quote. This week from our 33rd President, Harry S. Truman. Harry said: “The president is always abused. If he isn’t, he isn’t doing anything”. Makes one wonder when the last time President Dave was abused…


Steve Mazoff gave the invocation and John Warner led us in the Pledge. The man with the camera was Walt Richardson and your scribe this week is yours truly.

Bill Young introduced our lone visiting Rotarian, the renowned Jessica Witte. Jessica announced that the Puyallup South Hill Rotary Club is having a Reverse Raffle and provided us all with an informational flyer. Contact her with questions or for tickets.

Chris Kimball introduced several guests: Julie Hersey (think Superior Linen in Tacoma), Caroline Brady, David Kimball (another son) and Troy Wilcox (a wanna-be Lakewood Rotarian that moonlights during the day as the IT guy for the Emerald Queen Casino).

Gayle Selden introduced our Exchange Student extraordinaire, Selen. Gayle also informed us that Selen’s father has purchased a plane ticket home to Turkey and that she will leave on June 28th.

Speaking of Gayle Selden, she happily reported that there “ain’t no sunshine”. Sounds weird, but that’s the way we roll.

Ted Wier got his $$ from the big haul raffle – well what was left of the winnings anyway, after he gave a bunch of it back to several worthy causes. Thank you Ted!

Wynn Hoffman announced that we have 298 items for the Sportsman’s Dinner and Auction. The value of the items adds up to $62,257. He asked those of us that haven’t gotten the names, addresses and phone numbers of attendees to please get them to Morris Northcutt via email – – ASAP.

Wynn also announced that we will have express pay again this year and encouraged everyone to use it. It’s fast and easy and you can get out quick!

John Lowney thanked those that have volunteered to help with set up\tear down at the auction and stated that, after hardly anyone signed up for weeks, last week he asked Larry Saunders to pass out signup sheets. The results were so great he said that he will continue to use a retired police chief to get people to sign up. At least we all seem to respect the law.

Speaking of respect, the law and quotes… Will Rogers is reported to have said, “I don’t make jokes – I just watch the government and report the facts”.

Janie Frasier gave a big shout to the Sportsman’s Dinner sponsors. To date they have put up $17,400.

Morris Northcutt had our new brochures printed and there were 7 Lakewood Rotarians in Centralia for the District Conference. I won’t name names – mainly because they weren’t given.  

President-Elect Chris K. is on the ClubRunner site with a video promoting our club as the best – and the most fun. Check it out.

Judy Hosea couldn’t help herself and had to tell a joke just to show all of us in attendance that the auction committee people still have a sense of humor. Here is her joke:

Wife texts husband: (on a cold winter day) “Windows won’t open, think it is frozen”
Husband texts back: “Gently pour lukewarm water on it then gently tap edges with a hammer”
After about 5 minutes the wife texts back… “Well, now the computer is really messed up.”

Mick Johnson talked to us about the Rotary Foundation and encouraged us to contribute. District 5020 would like to have everyone be sustaining members – $100.00/year ($2.00 a week). He then awarded several new Paul Harris Fellowships. Phil Eng received his 6th while his daughter, Alice, received her first. Congratulations and thank you!

Chuck Hellar (a stranger to the Club?) evidently had been in Florida playing with cats at Ernest Hemingway’s house or some such thing?! Whatever Chuck was doing it cost him $40. There was a bunch of bantering going on between Mike McGowen, Greg Rediske and Joe Quinn (something about a broken sink)….anyway it cost Joe some $$ which were offered up to the procurement effort.

Phil Eng not only received another PH Fellowship, he has a new automobile and that cost him another greenleaf!

Chris Kimball introduced our program – one Pat Cashman.

Kimball and Cashman go back a ways. Pat was the MC at the 1st Woodstick back in 2003. I’m no math wizard but that appears to be about 12 years. Mr. Cashman has more than 20 regional Emmy’s to his credit. Was a castmember for “Almost Live” many years ago and currently doing a show called “The 206”.

Pat, like President Dave, seems to enjoy Presidential quotes as well. One of his favorites is from Abe Lincoln – “hey, I just got theater tickets for tonight – anyone want to go….”

Mr. Cashman then launched into about 25 minutes of non-stop, high speed talking at which point this reporter decided to just enjoy the show.

Pat did bring up the fact that he had a connection to Rotary from a long time ago. In fact, back then, Rotarians only had the one way test - and it was multiple choice!

Thank you Mr. Cashman for a most entertaining program.

We had 22 white and one red chip in the raffle bag today. The pot was worth $250. Judy Hosea was the lucky winner and she drew a… white chip worth $5.

Baseball season is upon once again so it is only fitting that we end this missive with a quote from one of the greatest baseball orator’s ever: “If people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.” Yogi Berra.

See you Friday at the meeting.