During the evening of Friday, June 26, 2015, we shall hear the last words of Dave Coleman. Or more accurately, his last words as President of Lakewood Rotary. One hopes they will be memorable, like the (truly) last words of the famous grammarian, Dominique Bouhours, "I am about to---or I am going to--die; either expression is correct."

As it turns out, there are some pretty entertaining "last words" out there. But we'll get to that in due course, and perhaps with occasionally correct grammar. For now, we must acknowledge the start of President Dave's last meeting, with the first words of his last meeting being, "Well, fellow Rotarians and guests, welcome to the June 26 meeting of the Rotary Club of Lakewood ".  Perhaps not memorable, but they aren't his last words after all... He then regaled us with his last presidential quote, from Calvin Coolidge, our 30th president: "Nothing in the this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are the omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."


Helpers today: Jim Rooks at the Paul Harris desk, Rod Ladd (trainee) and Bill Young (trainer) on the Sgt At Arms desk, Bill Young as photographer, Duncan Cook on setup, and Bill Young (three times in one run-on sentence) introduced visiting Rotarians Whitney from Tacoma 8 and Carl Roth from Clover Park. Guests included Chris, introduced by Bob Peterson, and Jenny Weeks was entertained by Jim Sharp (she is the Community Relations Manager for the Fire District). And Selen was introduced for the final time by Gayle Selden. Selen returns to Turkey on Sunday, and she was most appreciative to the entire club for a wonderful exchange year.


"I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis." Last words of Humphrey Bogart.

"Now why did I do that?"  Last words of  General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.


No meeting July 3!!  July 10 will be new president Chris Kimball's inaugural journey through the 2015-16 Rotary year.



Other Announcements:

--Money distributed this year: $95,000 (amended from the previous total by President Dave)

--Ted Wier: July 11 is Summerfest, including the Partners for Parks beer tent. John Lowney noted that we need many hands to move tables, chairs, and tents at Pierce College after the Rotary meeting on the 10th.

--Ted Wier, again: July 25 is Partners for Parks' "Summer Lawn Party". Larry Saunders and Ted will be soliciting you for tickets. All of the Partners for Parks money will be going toward resurfacing the path around the lake at the park.  (Ted also volunteered $60 for offenses unspecified. Later, Bob Hammer delivered a check for $25, also unspecified.)  For more information, go to www.partnersforparks.net. Tickets are $50 each.

--Rod Ladd presented outgoing President Dave with a Harry Truman coin, and incoming president Chris with gold (colored) drum sticks.  Schmoozer....

--Chris Kimball: Courage Classic August 1-3. Need volunteers for set up on the 2nd, and running the rest stop on the 3rd (Monday).

--Ed Shannon: last day to get your tickets for the July 16 ballgame at Cheney Stadium is July 10. $30.50 each.

--Bob Zawilski, another schmoozer, gave a shirt about Nepal to incoming P/E Rose Stevens.

--Greg Horn is out as Assistant Governor, and Dave gave him 3 bottles of beer. One of them had catnip in it. Someone at my table said, "Poor Mary."



Who knew convicted murderers could be so funny in their final moments?

"Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!," by James French, murderer, about to die in the electric chair.

"Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel," by George Appel, executed by electric chair in 1928.

Murderer James W. Rodgers was put in front of a firing squad in Utah and asked if he had a last request. He replied, “Bring me a bullet-proof vest.”


Birthdays and Anniversaries

Rotary anniversaries: started at Virginia Hillyer with 1 and went up to Bob Lordahl at 41.

Wedding anniversaries: Started with Andrew and Michelle Tyler at 19 years, with the top number being for Duncan and Joan Cook, 59 years.

Birthdays: Don Daniels, Mo Sarram, Mary Lou Sclair and Chris Kimball were the only ones brave enough to subject themselves to the accolades poured upon them by the Birthday Committee.



Paul Harris

Steve Enquist noted that 31 Paul Harris Awards were given this year, and $39,294 was collected.  Selen Erdogan was presented a Paul Harris from the club, hopefully to inspire her in the furtherance of her Rotary career upon returning to Turkey. Steve got a hug for his efforts. Ed Shannon got #2, and Greg Horn was presented his 6th, in honor of serving so effectively as District Governor the past two years. I think it was two years.



Musicians: a funny lot:

Composer Jean-Philippe Rameau objected to a song sung at his deathbed. He said, “What the devil do you mean to sing to me, priest? You are out of tune.”

Frank Sinatra died after saying, “I’m losing it.”

Drummer Buddy Rich died after surgery in 1987. As he was being prepped for surgery, a nurse asked him, “Is there anything you can’t take?” Rich replied, “Yeah, country music.”


Dave Coleman Exits

Dave thanked first and foremost his lovely wife, Joyce. He then was more than generous with his praise for his board of directors, committee chairmen and members,  and Wynn Hoffman for chairing the Sportsmans Dinner. "Way fun. Just Amazing. Chris, you can't screw this thing up." He then pointed out that he was a good president, using the explanation that Yogi Berra gave when asked what makes a good manager: "A great team." Dave explained that "I'm a good president because you are a great club."



Our own Jim Sharp came to the fire district as a dispatcher in 1986, and now he is the big cheese with West Pierce Fire and Rescue. 2011 saw the merger with the U.P. fire department and the name change, with their territory including Steilacoom by contract. This is the second largest district in the county, covering 100,000 population and 31 square miles. They made 14,000 calls in 2014, the highest calls per capita in the county. This last statistic is partly explained by the large number military retirees here, the high population of elder citizens living on their own, and the pockets of impoverished people with no access to other health choices.  66% of calls were for EMS, 14% for "good intent" calls (people calling with what they thought was an emergency but wasn't), and 2% for fires. West Pierce has a Class 3 rating. Out of 600 districts in the state, only 35 have a Class 3, with only two #2's and no #1's.  The U.S. Open went well, with crews imbedded at the tournament (under contract to the U.S. Open).  Challenges include increasing demands (6% this year), technology needs, and assessed property values being down (a significant portion of operating funds come from property taxes).  August 4 is the vote for the replacement levy of $10.9 M, $200,000 less than the previous levy four years ago.

We are fortunate to have such a fabulous fire department, as I know from personal experience. Thanks, Jim.


Surgeon Joseph Henry Green was checking his own pulse as he lay dying. His last word: “Stopped.”


Nostradamus predicted, “Tomorrow, at sunrise, I shall no longer be here.” Right again.


Drawing: $250 with 19 white and 1 red. Mary Covelli Johnson drew white. $5.00




In other news,  Past President Norm Tremaine recently turned 88. His service to Lakewood Rotary has been unparalleled, and we thank him. Here is a picture with Norm and his family from his birthday party!


The other day, Greg the Norwegian went with Ole the Swede to a local restaurant for an early lunch. Talking Rotary business, you know. So Ole tells the waitress, "I want a quickie." Shocked, she stutters a second, fuming, and tries to recover her composure. Finally, she answers, "Sir, please just give me your order." Ole is not sure what is going on, but responds, "I would like a quickie." This time, the waitress slaps him on the cheek, fairly hard. "Last chance, buddy! Now what do you want to eat?!?" Ole is stunned, and says, "Uh, well, uh, I still want a quickie." Before she could strike him again, Greg the Norwegian stifled his laughter long enough to inform Ole the Swede, "Actually, I believe it's pronounced 'quiche.'"

And those are the innocuous last words of this bulletin. Over and out. Actually, I guess the last words are "over and out". There, that's it. No, I guess the last words are "that's it." But no, now the last....The End.


Oh yeah....whose Rotarian Head is this, anyway? Be the first to guess! The winner gets two American dollars: