It has been 12 long and hard years since our last woman president of Lakewood Rotary, Mary Lou Sclair. 12 years of guys running the show. Dave Barry once wrote, "Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically." 
So finally! A thinker on the big stage! With a clang of the bell, President Rose Stevens began her sixth meeting by calling upon Barlow Buescher for the invocation, who additionally invoked not just a prayer but the 4-way Test. Very impressive. Until he told me he read it off a card. But he's a new member, and it took Chris Kimball several years and most of his presidential term to master it by heart, so it's OK, Barlow. Then came Jim Rooks, leading us in the pledge to the flag. All of which followed the superb set-up by Rob-Duncan-Bob, or RDB for short. Steve Enquist collected $587 at the Paul Harris table, while Jan Gee solicited raffle $$, and Barbara Spriggs sold tickets for the Richard King event. Phil Eng took the fabulous pictures included herein (at least, I'm assuming they'll be fabulous at this rather early point in the bulletin procedure. Do me proud, Phil.) And lastly, Tom Crabill mercilessly collected cash, checks, or the first born from those innocent Rotarians unlucky enough to be fined.
Above: John Lowney with family (from left: Vern, Shelly and Jake Mills, and then John) 
Bong went the gong, to paraphrase the late rocker, Marc Bolan, and with that, Rose spoke to the history of Rotary in the Ukraine. Did you know that the Ukraine was the most powerful state in Europe in the 10th and 11th centuries? Yes, they were. Rotary clubs that started prior to WWII were suspended by the war, and the arrival of communist Russia stopped their re-formation. Independence in 1992 resulted in the return of Rotary, and there are now 49 clubs in 26 cities. One project from there: Medical Bridge, which covers 4 weeks of training in surgery and traumatology in Barzilay (Israel). Barzilay is a central point for treatment of civilians injured in terror attacks.
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true! So call Editor Eric "Perry White" Quinn, and join the award winning team at the Lakewood Key, the most decorated club bulletin in the history of Lakewood!
Rob Erb (he of the famous team of RDB) introduced visiting Rotarians Lew and Ardell Samdal from Parkland Spanaway.  They came to announce their club's golf tournament at American Lake Veterans Golf course, with the newly added Jack Nicklaus back nine.  $100 per golfer includes BBQ ribs and more. August 20, 9 to 3.
Guests of Rotarians included Cathy and Don, who came with our speaker from Tacoma #8, Robin Echtle; Shelly, Vern and Jake Mills, who happen to be John Lowney's daughter, son-in-law and grandson; and Joe Nunez, aka "Richard Simmons", guest of Dave Covey. Joe will be riding as Richard in the Courage Classic this weekend, with his Rotary Riders shirt. He presented the real Richard with rider card #1 and a big hug for all that Richard has done over the years. And continues to do. Richard will be working the rest stop, again. And this writer received one of Richard's world-famous apple pies, just for donating to the cause. It was still warm when I got it, too. Over $4000 has been raised on the Richard's and Joe's website. A "really good picture" was called for here, so here's hoping Phil complied. (Not too late to donate:
Sunshine Report: John Magnuson was back at Rotary, after missing a couple meetings following his eye surgery. Ron Adkins is recovering nicely at home from his cancer surgery.
Phil Eng: 15 Rotarians are working the rest stop at the Courage Classic: fully staffed.
John Korsmo: Despite being challenged with the correct month that the Floating Board Meeting is occurring on, he managed to stumble through the rest of the announcement relatively unscathed. August 25, with boats by Korsmo, Sadler and Lowney. No potty on the Lowney vessel  however. Dinner at Dockton with Richard Simmons grilling steaks. If only Korsmo would have followed the directions about which month it was on.....but it is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
Blue Badge: Jan Gee!  $5!!
RYLA: Rotary Youth Leadership Awards. This club brought this Australian program to U.S. clubs back in 1973, and it continues to flourish today. This year, John Lowney's grandson Jake was one of two that we sponsored (the other moved to Ohio already). Jake's comments included what he learned, the first item being how to juggle. Not sure if it included actual physical juggling or not, but figuratively speaking, juggling many important details is the mark of a good leader. He also noted that working with those you're leading was an excellent leadership quality. Great job, Jake!
Clayton Denault made a plea, perhaps more eloquently posted by Gayle as an email to you all: "We are still needing host families for incoming student Jin Park from Korea. He is 16 and really into computers. He will be joining us August 24th and attending school at Lakes High School.
Host families need a dedicated bedroom for the student (cannot share with others or be on the couch in the office). Host families are responsible for school transportation if they do not live in the Lakes High School district area. I'd also appreciate it if Host Families would feed the student as well. Host families gain a new cultural understanding, someone to share family traditions with and an excuse to go check out all the beautiful things that the Northwest has to offer.
Host families also get support from the committee of Clayton, Eric and Gayle and all Lakewood Rotarians." Try it. You'll like it.
John Lowney gave $100 for Jake's award last regime. But! He eventually volunteered another $50, because he's still working at a job with a paycheck and is therefore wealthy, as long as Rose will make him a loaf of bread, sans nuts. Or make cookies. Or cake. But not Wonder Bread. Apparently, he felt left out of the fund raising bonanza when Rose sold all those Quick-zucchini bread loaves a couple of weeks ago.
Eric Quinn: Sunriver with the absent Joe, aka Dad. $20
Steve Mazoff: Alaska trip, upcoming Portugal trip, upcoming Mexico trip (bought at the Auction), used car from Bill Allen, and a Lexus. Yikes! $100
Charles Heberle donated $100 for his yearly fine for traveling the world, especially Russia. He also donated a Rotary emblem for Rose to wear round her neck, to add a little gravitas (his word not mine. As you might guess.) to her presentation each Friday.
Rob Erb volunteered himself, at least initially, until he pulled the rug out from under this unsuspecting bulletin reporter. It seems that Greg Rediske, who is me, won two prizes after the golf tournament  last week with Jim Rooks and Rob at Ft. Lewis for the Air Force Association benefit. $20 fine for Greg, plus promises extracted to take my golf mates from the tourney to the awarded free rounds of golf.
Gayle Selden went to Dallas for work, and got to dance with Redfoo. Probably everyone in Lakewood Rotary is well aware of this rapper and his group LMFAO, but Gayle tried to minimize this famous celebrity as "D-", in order to decrease her fine to a Greenleaf ($20).
Vaughn Hoffman's dog, River, won first place in a big dog show. A beautiful dog, too. $20
Sonia Martinez is going to England as part of her master education. Nice!
More about the exciting opportunity to celebrate a non-male Rotary president: And while I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.
You see, the problem with men (or one of them) is caused by a tragic genetic flaw -- men cannot see dirt until there is enough of it to support agriculture. This puts men at a huge disadvantage against women, who can detect a single dirt molecule 20 feet away. This is why a man and a woman can both be looking at the same bathroom commode, and the man -- hindered by Male Genetic Dirt Blindness (MGDB) -- will perceive the commode surface as being clean enough for heart surgery; whereas the woman can't even ``see'' the commode, only a teeming, commode-shaped swarm of bacteria. A woman can spend two hours cleaning a toothbrush holder and still not be totally satisfied; whereas if you ask a man to clean the entire New York City subway system, he'll go down there with a bottle of Windex and a single paper towel, then emerge 25 minutes later, weary but satisfied with a job well done. (Thereby supporting  why the podium is so clean these days, after a difficult previous 12 years.)
The Program:
Robin Echtle heads the Tacoma Lutheran Retirement Community foundation. Tacoma Lutheran was founded in 1938, to combat the alternatives at that time of poor farms and the like. They are one of two non-profit retirement communities in the area, and the only one that accepts Medicaid. All faiths are welcome in their 88 6-plex units, 58 independent apartments, 40 assisted living units, 160 beds of health care, and a new facility for memory care that can house 14 patients in a state-of-the-art facility. Last year, they had over 21,000 Medicaid days, resulting in unreimbursed costs of $1.2 Million. They anticipate that number to rise to $1.8 Million by 2020. Shout-outs from the crowd reported good food, and a very caring staff. As you might expect from such a great facility, there is a waiting list of several months to more than a year.
Above: Presenter, Robin Echtle
And there was a collective drum roll on the tables, lacking a real drum as we are these days: and the winner was....Jan Gee, she of the newly awarded blue badge. Instead of the $250, however, she just got her $5.00 blue badge fee back. Better than nothing, I say.
More from Dave Barry. (Anything funny in this bulletin is a direct or almost-direct quote from Dave Barry, by the way. Our attorney suggested I mention that): When it comes to feelings, the man is in trouble. Scientists using brain probes have determined that the average man has approximately one feeling per hour, versus 850 for the average woman. When a woman pours out her feelings to him, he tries to figure out what the specific problem is so he can take action. But he quickly becomes confused, because there doesn't seem to be a problem; he doesn't understand what she wants him to do. If she tells him she doesn't want him to do anything, that she just wants him to listen to her and to share his feelings in return, she only makes it worse, because at any given moment he has just the one feeling, and it's usually something along the lines of .....well, you know.