Posted by Mary Marlin on Dec 14, 2018
      And the bell rang and the meeting was called to order.  Gayle Selden, the president? Uh, no...….there was Anne Enquist, acting president, for the official end of the year Puffin President's roast.  Get ready for the fun! As Anne welcomed all, Gayle was brought in in coronation style, crowned and seated upon her throne and given a Tom and Jerry drink while Morris Northcutt drew attention with grand entrance trumpet music.
      Anne then introduced Puffin Kendra Riconosciuto  who offered a thought for the day that was an original thought from Gayle Selden. Here's Gayle's letter to Santa (a few years ago!):
                                        Dear Santa,
What I want for Christmas is Care Bears.  The one I want is Cheer Bear or the miniatures.....a Care Bear game. ….a doll that talks, and baby skates, and Kimberly the cheerleader, a Cabbage Patch Kid, a baby strawberry shortcake, a twirly curls Barbie, a Barbie dream store and a Barbie car... Sue and her beauty salon too......and a Popoids cosmic toy set, a new coat, a 900 by200m microscope, roller skates, a Christmas record, Snoopy or Belle, clothes, elephant slippers, a robe, a sweater and a hat, a coat with buttons....and more.....the great magic show or hat full of magic, or junior magician's magic show, a Hello Kitty travel kit, Nikes, makeup, a diary and a photo album.  Love, Gayle 4121 128th St. East (Whew!)
     After taking a breath, the audience gave the flag salute led by Leanna Christian.  Thanks were given for those who helped Meeting set ups ... Duncan Ward, Rob Erb, Ward Fletcher, Bob Hammer and Troy Wilcox.  Steve Enquist was at the Paul Harris table. Ticket Sales helpers were Bill White, John Korsmo, Sally Porter Smith, Barlow Buescher and Clint Johnson. The Bulletin writer was Mary Marlin, photographer was Walt Richardson, and official greeter was Mark Edgecomb.  The Sunshine report by John Forkenbrock had nothing to report.....fortunately. There were several announcements:  Wreaths Across America will be done this Saturday, and so will the EFN from 12 to 2, and bikes given away will be organized by Rick Selden also on Saturday. Several folks including Mary Horn, Johnny Walker and Chuck Heller said what a success it was at Western State gift giving and recommended that we also have this event next year. Visiting Rotarians were from Gig Harbor, Clover Park, Spanaway, Tacoma 8 and Puyallup! Great showing! Guests included Gayle's Girl Squad of Angel, Amy, Marie, Linette, and Melanie.  Several other guests included Pam Lowney, Sharon Rediske, Marilyn Zawilski, Sally Saunders, Brian Hancock, Carole Wier, Millie Walker, Mary Johnson, Karen Buescher, Sue Hellar, Rondi Johnson, Ellen Mazoff, Johanah Kang (Eric Quinn's wife), Sharon Selden, Jennie Weinand, and Stephanie Wilcox. Birthdays were celebrated by Robert Peterson, Larry Clark, Scott Buser, Chuck Hellar, John Forkenbrock, Jim Sharp, Christine Vu, and Paul Wulfestieg. Eric Quinn...1 year, Vaughn Hoffman..52, Dave Covey..51 and Charlene Miseli..22 all celebrated wedding anniversaries. John Warner has been in Rotary for 46 years and John Korsmo, 28, Jerry Williams, 29, Echo Abernathy, 2, Mary Horn, 2, Paula Olson, 2, Peter Marsh, 3, Terry Roarke, 17, and Sally Smith, 11, have shared the fun in years too . Then the Puffin Roast began.
      Above: The team of Puffins who made the Roast happen (well done, all)
Anne Enquist told the audience that our "queen" can be a little accident much so that she can be considered a liability! So we are going to introduce our queen's helper for the day, "Mayhem from Allstate"!! Eric Quinn then bounces in front of the crowd with significant fake face bruises and a megaphone!  Puffins are asked to put on their tiaras and the fines began. Everyone came to attention as they heard the fines:
      All  sponsors of Puffins will pay $20! If you had a candy cane by your plate, you owe $2. A double fine if you had a blue candy cane. If you are not wearing your Rotary pin, $1! If your grandfather was a Rotarian, $10. If you were in Rotary with Gayle's father …..$1....if her grandfather, $10! Second generation Rotarians....$10. Third generation...$20. If you danced with Earl Thomas...$10. If you are wearing a tiara...$2. And since "Mayhem from Allstate" had Gayle's passport and she didn't, Gayle was charged $50!! If the toy grinch was by your table setting, you were fined $5 and required to send it to your favorite Rotarian. Several people ducked, I noticed!
       Anne then introduced the Game Show, "Are You Smarter Than a Puffin?", with Eric Warn as the official host.  Some of his questions required thinking. Some required quicker thinking. Two puffins were helpers...Leanna Albrecht and Christine Vu....who determined whether the answer was correct.  Rick Selden was first.  "In what city does Lakewood Rotary meet? Rick said Lakewood, but too slowly and he paid $2. Gayle was asked who the first female member of Lakewood Rotary was and missed Genie Latta in 1998. Oops...$20. Rick was next when asked who the Paul Harris awards were named for. He knew the answer but Eric needed the money! Gayle missed the original name of Rotary wives (Lakewood Women of Rotary). Sorry....$20. Then...…..thank goodness …...a commercial break from State Farm Insurance.The phone rings. Andrew Cruse answers with his Jake from State Farm voice and hears …..kinda…..Gayle on the other end saying …"Jake, you are my favorite!!" And Jake, being smart, asked how old she  was to make this insurance claim that Santa had stolen her dad's watch! And Mayhem identified the culprit by saying...………."Yeh, Jake, what are YOU wearing?"  Busted! Break over and more questions ensued.
         Who received the Bernie Ootkin award in 2005-6? Gayle wasn't sure, but applause roared when Carole Wier was identified. When Rick was asked what was offered at the Pancake breakfasts and he noted pancakes, he was fined for too easy an answer.  This is tough stuff for sure!  Fortunately or unfortunately, a commercial break was then required by Farmers Insurance. JK Simmons had the telephone (ie. Johnny Walker in glasses and a blazer) answers the ring. "We've seen almost everything so we can cover most everything!" At which point, the person on the phone (supposedly Gayle) divulges that her Uber driver in Paris has had a fender bender!! We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two! No way pay!!
       And more crazy questions continue and more fines are rolling. And Gayle is asked the 4 Way Test and passes, but still gets fined!  Guess who comes to the stage next ?  Yep.....Flo....from Progressive Insurance!!  Okay, Colleen Cook.....who definitely played the part well. Apparently, fake Gayle on the phone is vying for more insurance for a, two deer, that apparently made a mistake by walking in front of Gayle's car. Deer Double Whammy!! Nope......Flo says no coverage!!! And that is the conclusion of the "Are You Smarter Than A Puffin?"  Sound Effects...………Drum roll ……..
      Another letter from Gayle to a teacher requires repeating:  "Dear Mr. Malone, I need to go to school to learn how to be a teacher, but we need more vacation!!!!! I don't need to go to school because I know this stupid stuff! I need something harder.  So give me the challenge test. Thank you.  ( I hope she wasn't a senior when she wrote this!!)  Just sayin'....
       So before we close, here are a few other interesting comments from the team:
Once Greg Rediske said he was at a meeting where grandfather Selden had a heart attack. Greg was fined for disturbing and distracting the Christmas festivities. Eric was found crawling under tables today to avoid paying family fines. He also accused his dad for avoid a Christmas sweater fine. Gary Fulton attempted to avoid a fine by selling his seat.  Mick Johnson gained applause for his WOW colorful and well lit sweater. And Gayle has danced with numerous Seahawks players.  More later.....way later.   
        Congrats to Carole Wier with the winning raffle ticket.  And the meeting was adjourned.  (we cut this paragraph short so that we would not exceed the character limit).
Truly Yours,
Mary Marlin
Oh yes: Read this bulletin and tell Greg Rediske to get a make-up. Also, do your online shopping on Amazon Smile so a portion of your purchase may be allocated to Lakewood Rotary.