Posted by Greg Rediske on Sep 22, 2017
Today's meeting extravaganza was all about golf and the District Governor. Actually, it was more about the District Governor, and a little bit about golf. But after extensive research, and I do mean extensive, there appears to be absolutely no jokes or funny quotes about district governors. Must be some somewhere. Maybe if Horn gets elected. So, in the meantime, we'll stick with golf.
I was lying ten and had a thirty-five foot putt. I whispered over my shoulder: "How does this one break?" And my caddie said, "Who cares?"  Jack Lemmon
There, that's one out of the way. And then a Rotary meeting happened. At precisely 12:30, President Don Daniels of the Rotary Club of Lakewood, and then President Bryan Christensen of Clover Park Rotary, started the joint meeting in the presence of DG Tom Carroll. You knew it was a special meeting when Morris Northcutt started things off with a memorable accompaniment on his trumpet to "O, Canada" and "The Star Spangled Banner". We are so fortunate to have a musician of his caliber in our club. Wow, does he sound good. (Much better, as a matter of fact, than the vocalizing of Ted Wier to my right. But he made a good attempt, and got the words right, anyway.)
Above: District Governor Tom Carroll
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.   Dave Barry
Meeting statistics:
Foundation Desk: Mick Johnson (whose effective urging produced $1212!)
Ticket sales: Chuck Hellar
Invocation: Barlow Buescher
Photography: Troy Wilcox
Set up: Bob Hammar, Troy Wilcox, Rob Erb
Rotarian Visitors:
Curtis Thiel, Assistant Governor for our area, South Hill
Mark Woodman, Puyallup's current president
Dave Harkness, Tacoma South
Cindy Atwood, Tacoma South
? Schumacher, South Hill
Guests of Rotarians:
Charlene, with Don Anderson
Brandon, with Mark from Clover Park
At last year's Rotary golf tournament, I said to our organizer, the elder Quinn, "Isn't that a new putter?"  Joe responded, "Why, yes it is."  So I said, "What happened to that expensive putter you had last year?"  Joe lamented to me, "It couldn't swim."
Armed with a new floating putter, Joe announced to all that the spectacular Rotary Golf Tournament will be this coming Friday, immediately following the Rotary meeting. Cost of golf is $75 (plus tax), cart extra. Immediately following golf (circa 6:30/7) will be a pizza and more dinner, $25. Non-golfers are encouraged to attend the latter. (It might appear that some of those participating in the first event are non-golfers as well, but that's not true!)
Joe was a bit late in the signups because of a lengthy trip to Tahoe, where he and Kris were wallowing in the joy of their first grandchild. The trip also included a stop at every winery between here and there, by the looks of their Facebook photos.
Email Joe at to attend golf and/or the pizza ++ dinner.
Golf Definitions:
"Gimme putt": An agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt well.
"Mulligan": A contraction of the phrase "maul it again".
"Golf": An endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good beer.
More golf announcements:
Dave Harkness from Tacoma South invited us to their club's 21st annual Mini-Golf Tournament at Harkness Furniture. We have always responded well, and he's hoping we will again this year. The date is October 20, 5 pm (tee time, 7 pm). $75 each includes $10 in script, dinner, and green fees. Unique to this year: Because the featured charity is the Trufant Family Foundation, Marcus and Isaiah Trufant will be there to sign memorabilia ($50). More later, I'm sure.
Another announcement: The Lakewood Boys and Girls Club 10th Anniversary Celebration is this Thursday, September 28. Contact Echo Curry for further details.
Golf Truisms:
--A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
--No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
--Since bad shots come in groups of three, the fourth one is actually just the first of the next group of three.
--It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50 foot putt when you lie 9.
--Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogies to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
--Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
--You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time, and a two inch branch 90% of the time.
Dave Hall from Clover Park is a Shelter Box Ambassador, and he spoke of the light weight tents being used in Houston and Florida. These offer privacy in the large buildings being used for shelter, a great psychological and social lift.
District Governor Tom awarded Paul Harris Awards to the following:
Astrid Arola, #1
John Forkenbrock, #1
Chuck Hellar, #5
Dave Reames, #5
Scott Buser, #8
Mick Johnson and Gary Fulton: Major Donors (more than 10, a lot more.....)
Above: Paul Harris Award recipients
Golf Quotes:
What most people don't understand is that UFOs are on a cosmic tourist route. That's why they're always seen in Arizona, Scotland, and New Mexico. Another thing to consider is that all three of those destinations are good places to play golf. So there's possibly some connection between aliens and golf.    Alice Cooper
Swing hard in case you hit it.   Dan Marino
Above: Morris Northcutt (left) with Assistant Governor, Curtis Thiel (right)
The Program:
AG Curtis Thiel our District Governor, Tom Carroll, and his wife Laurie.  A UW graduate in political science, Tom went on to 30 years in the Navy along with extensive service to the Boy Scouts of America and a long list of Rotary activities and awards. Chris Kimball was recognized for his District 5020 service on the nominating committee, as were Mary and Greg Horn for being the administrators of the upcoming District Conference. Unintentionally overlooked was Bob Zawilski, who spends countless hours in oversight of the Grants Committee for the District.
We were also thanked for our Foundation success. First lady Laurie invited all to join in her literacy challenge: 2 books donated per Rotarian (over 10,000 books if we succeed!). Tom noted that "Rotary Makes a Difference" by being a unique group in the world, as discovered by a body I can't remember: 1. Classification System that encourages diversity; 2. Leaders with experience inhabit our clubs; 3. Passion and perseverance are hallmarks of our clubs' culture; and 4. 35,000 clubs in a network, all working together (Polio Plus being a good example). We are special because we are committed to service, AND fellowship, we are trustworthy, and we care.
In the meeting with the two boards of directors prior to the meeting, Tom stressed that flexibility will be a key to our quest to expand membership and hence our reach and ability to do service. We were clubs 66 and 67 on this journey: safe travels for the rest, Tom and Laurie!
And the drawing: $600 or $5: which would it be? A Clover Park Rotarian won the opportunity. Did he take our money down the road? Yes, he did! But only $5.00 of it.
Next week's program: "Ending hunger, enriching lives"
A man  and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry.  I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting  for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with  it!  We have a 10:00 am tee time at the best golf course in  town and it's 9:15 already...I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”
The dentist thought to himself,  "Well, well, at last: a golfer who is actually tough!!"
So the dentist asks him, "Of course. Which tooth is it, sir?"
The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth, honey, and show the dentist.”