MEETING RECAP
Sunday, December 19, 2021
By: Paula T. OlsonThe Roasting of Doctor James Rooks
THE LAKEWOOD KEY
It’s the Friday before Christmas and all through the room, everyone was stirring, hot Toddies and rum. The children were all learning at school with hopes that their grandparents would safely get home. The Annual LR Tom & Jerry Party and Roast of the President.
Okay enough of that.
Above: So here he is: the Guest of Honor, President Jim Rooks by Walt Richardson photo.
At 12:30 p.m. promptly the Roasting of President Jim began! Before the official start, the Puffins instructed us to write something nice about Jim on a tongue depressor. Now, I understand the term “roast” means “to criticize or reprimand severely” or to subject the guest of honor to good-natured ridicule. And frankly, it was more like a slow cook than a roast. Where were the stories of Jim playing pranks, getting sent to the principal’s office or yelled at by the medical director? Where were the disgruntled ex-girlfriends? The neighbors complaining about code violations at the Rooks’ house? Either Jim is truly the nice guy we know him to be or the Puffins were paid off in a spectacular fashion.
Puffin Steve Saalfeld was at the helm of the meeting. Puffin Bob Martin led with what he hoped would pass for a prayer. He asked the Lord for forgiveness for the untruthful, ridiculous and awful things they would do to Pres. Jim and that lots of fines would be paid for the good of the community. Since no one was designated to lead the Pledge of Allegiance, we all did it together. Then with the Top Gun theme song playing, the Puffin meeting takeover was complete and Jim entered the danger zone. And of course the usual disclaimer: any mistake was the fault of the Puffin Committee, not the Puffins themselves.
This writer has a little disclaimer of her own. Tom and Jerrys were served at lunch per our tradition. This drink contains rum and/or brandy. These drinks were started in the 1820’s by Pierce Egan who was promoting his play entitled “Life in London” with two main characters, Tom and Jerry. Thus two types of alcoholic beverages. Paula had one T & J. Okay, two T & Js but the second one only because of the peer pressure. (Well, maybe she had three…The Editor says read on and decide for yourself.) Alcohol can cause brain cells to shrink, causing a person taking notes at a meeting to produce unreadable, indecipherable scribbling. Therefore, any mistakes are the result of Editor Joe Quinn trying to remember what the heck Paula was writing about. This meets the Four-Way Test, except that Quinn was tending bar and tippling a bit on the side as you can see in photos. A $20 fine was paid for the grievous omission.
President Jim Rooks grew up in Florida and to keep Jim in his seat, Kyle the Alligator (well, it wasn’t a real alligator but it was scary) was displayed to keep an eye on Jim. Meeting set up was done by Rob Erb, James Osundwa, Rick Selden and Kendra Riconosciuto and Paula Olson writing every little thing down for prosperity and the bulletin. Fines were going to Communities in Schools, Emergency Food Network, and Caring for Kids. Cash, plastic, and IOUs were accepted. We had someone visiting on Zoom and Assistant Governor Tony Camoroda was in the room. Guests included Olivia Whalen, daughter of Jason Whalen who heard there was free booze, Jennie Weinand, wife of Jim Weinand, Leanna Christian’s son Alexander, Pam Lowney, John’s wife, and Sharon Rediske, Greg’s wife. Rick Selden introduced Kris Quinn, Joe’s wife, who although seated right next to Kris, was confused about if he had brought her or left her home. See what I mean about the tippling Irishman.
Puffins then offered quite the deal. Pay $100 up front and you got full immunity. Less protection for less money was also offered. Greg Horn paid $50 and was later shamed into upping it to $75, along with Mary Horn matching him, Jim Weinand paid $100 as did Jason Whalen. Bob Martin then paraded in poor President Jim for the disgraceful duty of honoring him. Getting deeper into Jim’s past, he graduated from the University of Florida, then University of Miami Medical School. Then back to University of Florida for his ENT residency. For those of you who are acronym challenged, that means Ear, Nose and Throat, President Jim’s specialty. He stayed there for two years on staff. He then joined the U. S. Air Force in 1969 and did a year in Vietnam. He was assigned to a fighter squadron as a flight surgeon and flew 44 missions so he could understand what his patients experienced so he could be a better surgeon. This was all why he was wearing a commemorative hat and jacket. Jim said that some people have thought that the hat means he served in World War II, which apparently gives Jim some concern as he really doesn’t look that old. Jim was then fined $10 for making the jacket look better than on Tom Cruise. Back to Jim’s life. He practiced medicine in Florida for a time and then came to Washington State in 2014. He retired at the age of 73, which is more disturbing than thinking he served in WWII because he looks so darn young.
Eric Warn on behalf of the Health and Wellness Committee (heretofore called the Sunshine Committee) asked everyone to bring in their old glasses to donate to the Lakewood Lions. Mary Horn announced that John Warner had suffered a heart attack on the east coast while visiting with his son. He is in the hospital for a time and would love emails and notes. Bill Potter tried to get serious with his announcements that break bags needed to be delivered as well as 40 bikes on Saturday morning. He needed 7-10 drivers to do the deeds. Email Bill if you can help.
Above: Bill spoke and it was done: The Bike Build distribution day. Photo thanks to Bill P.
Then he announced the slate of officers for next year: Mary Horn – President Elect, Greg Rediske – Secretary; John Lowney – Treasurer; and Dave Swindale, Tom George and Barlow Buescher – New Trustees. A motion to approve the slate was made and seconded and all voted in favor. No dissenters. Anne Enquist asked for approval to spend $2,000 for the stove team. Moved, seconded and unanimous approval. Mary Horn and Rose Stevens accepted a quilt from the patients at Western State Hospital in appreciation of Lakewood Rotary. It was auctioned off at an impromptu live auction and Puffin Angela Connelly got it for $200.
Because the bulletin should be informing and educational, a group of puffins are called either a colony, a puffinry, a circus, a burrow, a gathering, or an improbability. For real. I looked it up. (Huh? I thought it was a Puffoonery – Ed.) In the case of Lakewood Rotary, our Puffins are better known as An Improbability. They are:
Angela Connelly (sponsored by Jim Rooks) who was impressed by the number of members Jim has sponsored and fined every member $5.00 who was not sponsored by Jim.
Bob Martin was sponsored by Greg and Mary Horn, who installed his deck but left off four bolts. Bob fined them for $5 per bolt as they were small bolts.
Rachel Mazoff, sponsored NOT by her father, Steve Mazoff, who got double fined but by President Jim Rooks. Rachel was set to work editing policies by Jim Rooks when he was President of some medical committee or at Multicare. Something about $10 for documents and $20 for photo editing.
Wendy McGowan was sponsored by John Lowney who she knew when he was only 15 years old; that is probably when he started working for her late husband and famed LR Rotarian, Mike McGowan. John, who is our Treasurer, needed to be fined lots of money, like $500 which John said needed a formal disbursement request. Not so fast, John!
Andy Phillips was also sponsored by Jim Rooks who fined him only $20 because he was getting to be a poor man. Andy has known Jim for years as a neighbor and friend. There was some rowdiness on the Fourth of July but this reporter was taking a sip of T & J and can’t read her notes.
James Osundwa was sponsored by Mark Edgecomb. Barlow kicked in $20, in sympathy for James as his sponsor was not here today.
Anthony Veliz, also sponsored by guess who—Jim Rooks. He met Jim at the Lakewood Multicultural Coalition. The two ended up in the men’s room at the same time, and as all men do, started chatting about Rotary, while standing next to each other at the urinals. He told Anthony he really, really should join Lakewood Rotary. Apparently Jim displayed some urgency (about the membership, not the other) and Anthony could think of nothing else to do but say “yes.” The two men shook on it and here Anthony is. Jim got fined $100 for disturbing the peace. (Yes, this is a true story. Seems our Jim isn’t perfect and us women should be glad we won’t be hanging out with Jim Rooks in the men’s room. But as you can see from the number of Puffins sponsored by Jim Rooks, he never steps recruiting, literally everywhere!)
Carl Bronkema who was appearing from a rockery in Florida was not sponsored by Jim Rooks. Jason Whalen was his sponsor and they met at a wine club where there was some funny business resulting in Jason being cut off at the next party and fined $150 for creating a problem. Oh no, I guess it was a fine of $10 per wine club, so Jason is a member of 15 wine clubs!?
Steve Saalfeld was sponsored by Tanya Winsky, who is no longer a member. So Steve said that everyone was fined $2.00 for not retaining Tanya as a member. Huh? Yes, we all had to pony up $2 each and place it in the middle of the table.
Then Jim was led out with a medical team wearing these really big ears, that would be great in a horror movie. Angela Connelly said that we would go even deeper into Jim’s background. She called Jim a “Renaissance Man” for all the different roles he’s played in life. His Florida hat was replaced with a golf club. Then we saw a very informative video of Jim in Florida. He was a fifth generation Floridian.
The medical team said the ears made them good listeners even though they were red and infected. Which does the good doctor Jim recommend – medicine or tubes? Next patient was afflicted with a dripping nose that included worms, delicious worms as it turns out. Doc Jim recommended that he shave his beard and come back in six months. Next patient had a painful voice. Doc Rooks donned some gloves and went in deep to see what was causing the problem. Out he pulled a fish and recommended that Bob Martin chew his food more. Next came out an oyster on the half shell with a mother of pearl. Doc Jim recommended that he not eat the shell.
The last hat put on President Jim was a Santa hat, the best hat of all. This means that Jim is a man of service, giving of himself with hope, love and cheer. The Improbability gathered around Jim and we sang “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” The meeting closed with enthusiastic applause, ringing with love for President Jim Rooks. Ron Irwin won the drawing but didn’t win the pot.
Above: Didn’t the Puffins do a great job? Photo by Phil Eng.
Happy Holidays to all. Don’t come December 24th or December31st unless you want to sit and eat lunch alone as no meetings until January 7, 2022. Happy New Year, Everyone! And do not forget we will not be meeting at Tacoma Country and Golf Club during the entire month of January. All meetings will be via Zoom so look for those invitations from Dr. Rooks.
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